H2O
I'm surrounded by water. Perhaps that may seem to have somewhat of a negative implication to it if maybe ONLY considering my last blog entry and certain things I spoke about specifically. But when I say I'm surrounded by water, I simply mean God's movement in my life and how it very much has increasingly become like water to me. It's need vital. Where it starts? Like water, there's no beginning and no end really. It's like trying to point out a single wave in the ocean from an aerial view and follow it all the way to shore. Basically impossible but certainly a challenge worth while; for what I may see along the way could surprise. Not that I need to explain myself to you people (whoever you are) or my relationship with God. I'm simply ironing out the details for myself "on paper" so to speak, knowing that my family far extends beyond the blood running through my veins. And for that I am thankful to my core because that thought alone brings me joy and support.
What's interesting to come to terms with as I continually learn more about the love of God is that there is often a misconception about the condition of our hearts in a very basic sense. I know for me if I feel like I've fallen short of God's glory - as we all do - I can be quick to judge my heart as "being bad". Reacting as if I forget that it's the love of Christ in me which defines me and nothing else...The simple truth is that I AM "good" (by God's definition, not my own-that's important) because it's HIM who dwells in my heart. I accepted that Truth long ago. Like anyone else's heart who has, He seeks to transform it in its beauty through grace's sufficiency. Not condemn it for what it was over and over again. God doesn't act as a child turning our hearts on and off like a light switch from "good" to "bad" by OUR definition, manipulating the light source depending on what He wants to see or not see, deal with or not deal with. He just WANTS it in its state presently - to make it whole through the love of Christ which is purifying. THAT is what He sees! So why are we claiming to be Christ followers and still referring to our own dictionaries in regards to certain heart matters? In fact, I would think it's more accurate for me to own up as being the child in that light switch scenario. I'll find I'm understanding that it's no one's place but God's to judge me, and yet here I stand my own worse critic. Dancing under some type of messed up strobe light affect of my own doing that I'm sure looks rather ridiculous in the sight of God. Though He is patient and unfazed I'm sure He is entertained somewhat by my event....All the while, He holds my heart, floods it with truth and love, and reminds me it is of no mystery to Him. There's God given logic to concept of giving your heart to Him because when you try to take it back (in any sense of that situation) the lights start flickering and your heart starts beating a little faster in effort to keep up with the craziness you're creating. At some point you'll get tired of the jig and need to rehydrate....
[crash comes the flood of love]
The voice of God is appealing to me in many forms these days. Music and lyric, movies...and most recently now He is water. I'll try to make sense out of how he's taking all these forms collectively as it pertains to my heart. Again, I impress nothing upon yours as you read above and below. I just can't deny or keep quiet about The truth in mine. The water, like music, is inviting for me...I'll finish my daily run and nurse my bottle of water just to realize (spiritually if nothing else) I'm drinking in more than a necessity of life, but rather THE necessity for abundant life. As a result, that thought makes for all the more reason to run the race with endurance! As I prepared to travel to my coastal home state recently, it was as if I was really stepping closer toward where I need to be - literally drawing nearer to "living water". When the music starts, He's flowing through songs often engulfing me in their meaning. It can often be a lot to swallow but in all honesty I'm drinking it in and soaking it up as best I can...
There's a song by Flyleaf (I know, I know...) called "Chasm" which I think I've seriously overlooked its meaning in times past. But yet here it speaks to me - even following what I mentioned post script in my last entry! In no way can I take credit for drawing comparisons though. The things I write are just as I hear them, and they build and swell like waves in the vast expanse of my heart. "Break up already wake up now!" Like a crashing wave. The one that hits you a little stronger than you expected and covers more skin than you were maybe prepared for. Yikes! But yet we all tend to still smile or giggle when it happens, right? In short, there's mostly a positive reaction in spite of the shock. (I would hope so for most anyway considering the context in which I am speaking...) As for me, in that moment I'm fully alive and awake (see Flyleaf and Skillet)...and in the depths of my soul I'm thirsty for more of THAT life. But so often I find myself outside of that "God zone" and further into the chasms of the "danger zones". They too take many forms and again it's really for one's own person to determine what shape they take and how deep they may go. Find yourself recovering from a "fall"? "Don't be quick to lick the scab off." Let it heal for goodness sake. Let HIM heal it. Otherwise, what are you saying about Christ's ability in your life? Exactly which scars are you either intentionally or unintentionally tracing? Who is in control? In any sense, the chorus for the chasm in my heart is true just as it is written in the lyrical annotation:
"Please, give me something
I'm so thirsty, I'm so thirsty
Oh please let me warn them
Don't you come here
Don't bring anyone here"
[crash]
Well. There's that rushing wave I've allowed to catch up with me. (For those of you whom I may have lost at this point, that wave would be God.) Sometimes I can't tell if I'm refreshed or insulted. But the offenses of the heart aren't always easily reckoned with so the latter may actually be true at times. In any heart's state of reaction to His presence, however; he says, "but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” I can't count how many times recently The Lord has offered contentment in His love through this verse to me in thought. So take heart [to Him], below the "insult" lies your insecurity and He's aiming His healing abilities there. He's calling you out...Truth calls you out. (Flyleaf) Again, he's not condemning you, He is inviting you! Sometimes His approach is gentle like a trickling runlet and other times He's been known to get my attention with His power - leaving me in awe and wonder. I wonder if people tend to view the love of God as intangible and find themselves discontent? I'll admit I have. However, to anyone who might, and as a reminder to myself, it is my deepest pleasure to politely inform that that would be incorrect. And I don't mean just that you can look out your window and see His creation before your very eyes. Yes, that is part of it. But I have to ask myself what is "welling" up inside and feel the reality of THAT part, too. Is it anxiety? Anger? Frustration? Doubt? Indifference even? Such things will run a person dry for sure...But for my tiny heart to register a scale of movement so great as the love God replacing such things, there's no mistaking for that as ultimately and completely fulfilling. Life's spring, as it is assured, as I allow Him to flow into every gap.
"The chasm isn't fixed yet
Take this water
Drinking even deeper
Living water!"
I suppose I could probably make a decent list of songs that are swirling in my head as they relate to my understanding here. Kristy Starling has an amazing album with a song, not so ironically named, "Water." Again, some music, like the movies I've identified with, I haven't witnessed in years! And still God himself dives into my heart and pulls them up from the dirty grave (Addison Road) it would seem and reminds me of His unfailing truths. "Ocean Floor" by Audio Adrenaline is the ultimate Truth worth repeating to our hearts as children of God. If there were ever a floaty in need, The truth of his word in songs are that for me quite often. In my humble opinion, music is like the adrenaline kick in the word of God. It's as if the spirit of the Living Truth flourishes more vibrantly through song. Filling every desire of my heart.
What's interesting to come to terms with as I continually learn more about the love of God is that there is often a misconception about the condition of our hearts in a very basic sense. I know for me if I feel like I've fallen short of God's glory - as we all do - I can be quick to judge my heart as "being bad". Reacting as if I forget that it's the love of Christ in me which defines me and nothing else...The simple truth is that I AM "good" (by God's definition, not my own-that's important) because it's HIM who dwells in my heart. I accepted that Truth long ago. Like anyone else's heart who has, He seeks to transform it in its beauty through grace's sufficiency. Not condemn it for what it was over and over again. God doesn't act as a child turning our hearts on and off like a light switch from "good" to "bad" by OUR definition, manipulating the light source depending on what He wants to see or not see, deal with or not deal with. He just WANTS it in its state presently - to make it whole through the love of Christ which is purifying. THAT is what He sees! So why are we claiming to be Christ followers and still referring to our own dictionaries in regards to certain heart matters? In fact, I would think it's more accurate for me to own up as being the child in that light switch scenario. I'll find I'm understanding that it's no one's place but God's to judge me, and yet here I stand my own worse critic. Dancing under some type of messed up strobe light affect of my own doing that I'm sure looks rather ridiculous in the sight of God. Though He is patient and unfazed I'm sure He is entertained somewhat by my event....All the while, He holds my heart, floods it with truth and love, and reminds me it is of no mystery to Him. There's God given logic to concept of giving your heart to Him because when you try to take it back (in any sense of that situation) the lights start flickering and your heart starts beating a little faster in effort to keep up with the craziness you're creating. At some point you'll get tired of the jig and need to rehydrate....
[crash comes the flood of love]
The voice of God is appealing to me in many forms these days. Music and lyric, movies...and most recently now He is water. I'll try to make sense out of how he's taking all these forms collectively as it pertains to my heart. Again, I impress nothing upon yours as you read above and below. I just can't deny or keep quiet about The truth in mine. The water, like music, is inviting for me...I'll finish my daily run and nurse my bottle of water just to realize (spiritually if nothing else) I'm drinking in more than a necessity of life, but rather THE necessity for abundant life. As a result, that thought makes for all the more reason to run the race with endurance! As I prepared to travel to my coastal home state recently, it was as if I was really stepping closer toward where I need to be - literally drawing nearer to "living water". When the music starts, He's flowing through songs often engulfing me in their meaning. It can often be a lot to swallow but in all honesty I'm drinking it in and soaking it up as best I can...
There's a song by Flyleaf (I know, I know...) called "Chasm" which I think I've seriously overlooked its meaning in times past. But yet here it speaks to me - even following what I mentioned post script in my last entry! In no way can I take credit for drawing comparisons though. The things I write are just as I hear them, and they build and swell like waves in the vast expanse of my heart. "Break up already wake up now!" Like a crashing wave. The one that hits you a little stronger than you expected and covers more skin than you were maybe prepared for. Yikes! But yet we all tend to still smile or giggle when it happens, right? In short, there's mostly a positive reaction in spite of the shock. (I would hope so for most anyway considering the context in which I am speaking...) As for me, in that moment I'm fully alive and awake (see Flyleaf and Skillet)...and in the depths of my soul I'm thirsty for more of THAT life. But so often I find myself outside of that "God zone" and further into the chasms of the "danger zones". They too take many forms and again it's really for one's own person to determine what shape they take and how deep they may go. Find yourself recovering from a "fall"? "Don't be quick to lick the scab off." Let it heal for goodness sake. Let HIM heal it. Otherwise, what are you saying about Christ's ability in your life? Exactly which scars are you either intentionally or unintentionally tracing? Who is in control? In any sense, the chorus for the chasm in my heart is true just as it is written in the lyrical annotation:
"Please, give me something
I'm so thirsty, I'm so thirsty
Oh please let me warn them
Don't you come here
Don't bring anyone here"
[crash]
Well. There's that rushing wave I've allowed to catch up with me. (For those of you whom I may have lost at this point, that wave would be God.) Sometimes I can't tell if I'm refreshed or insulted. But the offenses of the heart aren't always easily reckoned with so the latter may actually be true at times. In any heart's state of reaction to His presence, however; he says, "but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” I can't count how many times recently The Lord has offered contentment in His love through this verse to me in thought. So take heart [to Him], below the "insult" lies your insecurity and He's aiming His healing abilities there. He's calling you out...Truth calls you out. (Flyleaf) Again, he's not condemning you, He is inviting you! Sometimes His approach is gentle like a trickling runlet and other times He's been known to get my attention with His power - leaving me in awe and wonder. I wonder if people tend to view the love of God as intangible and find themselves discontent? I'll admit I have. However, to anyone who might, and as a reminder to myself, it is my deepest pleasure to politely inform that that would be incorrect. And I don't mean just that you can look out your window and see His creation before your very eyes. Yes, that is part of it. But I have to ask myself what is "welling" up inside and feel the reality of THAT part, too. Is it anxiety? Anger? Frustration? Doubt? Indifference even? Such things will run a person dry for sure...But for my tiny heart to register a scale of movement so great as the love God replacing such things, there's no mistaking for that as ultimately and completely fulfilling. Life's spring, as it is assured, as I allow Him to flow into every gap.
"The chasm isn't fixed yet
Take this water
Drinking even deeper
Living water!"
I suppose I could probably make a decent list of songs that are swirling in my head as they relate to my understanding here. Kristy Starling has an amazing album with a song, not so ironically named, "Water." Again, some music, like the movies I've identified with, I haven't witnessed in years! And still God himself dives into my heart and pulls them up from the dirty grave (Addison Road) it would seem and reminds me of His unfailing truths. "Ocean Floor" by Audio Adrenaline is the ultimate Truth worth repeating to our hearts as children of God. If there were ever a floaty in need, The truth of his word in songs are that for me quite often. In my humble opinion, music is like the adrenaline kick in the word of God. It's as if the spirit of the Living Truth flourishes more vibrantly through song. Filling every desire of my heart.
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