Security Clearance
I struggle with insecurity.
I do.
I wish I could brush off the fact by saying, "I can't help it."
And then I realize all of those statements begin with "I". Which pretty much solves the problem for why I can't help it. Sometimes it's a battle that isn't for me to fight alone. In Exodus 14:14, it says, "The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still." Which spoken by itself sounds great with no strings attached. A "let go and let God" kind of situation. Full of power and reassurance - which it has. But the real truth to its substance is found in the following verse when God basically tells Moses to get everyone moving. In short, Moses must also be active (do his part) in the circumstances surrounding them.
I think that part of the story lends clarity when dealing with life's struggles. Making excuses never got anyone from point A to point B. Waiting for someone else to do something about anything may not produce the results one desires. And if we keep claiming that the Lord will equip the called, then by golly get a move on and stop being so passive...or complacent...or down right lazy.
It's the scariest thing I've ever done.
A few (seemingly) short months ago, Jeff and I stepped out in faith and made the decisive action to get involved; specifically with Fountain Springs. We started with the Discovery classes, joined the church, branched out into LifeGroup territory, and have now found ourselves so far out of our comfort zones we're starting to wonder why we didn't do it sooner. We're even looking into Zambia missions trips!! And this is not a "look what we've done!" rant. It's me saying that I believe blessings are to be found just on the other side of that proverbial line you've drawn for yourself. Personally, mine tended to conform to the borders of what was simultaneously interesting and scary. Definitely not the straightest of lines.
Like the ocean's coast line...
To give you a clearer picture, it was as if Jesus was standing there on the shores with me. Talking about how good everything looked (you know how conversations at the beach start: "it's so beautiful", etc, etc). To which, of course, I would agree with the allure of it all. And the conversation would naturally gravitate to let's have a seat and build a sand castle in the wetter (closer to the water) sand. Well, alright ... You see where this is going, next thing He'll want me to do is to try walking on water. (Lord, help me.)
Anyway, life's events often bring me to that point where God isn't being suggestive anymore and instead he's become rather blunt with what He'd like for me to do. So I crossed the line...
BAM! Awesomeness...awesome people...awesome worship...awesome opportunities......
Okay, maybe it's not an instantaneous feeling. But overcoming insecurities with His help is equally nerve wracking and rewarding! As some of you may know by now, I've truly loved singing with the worship band at FSCC when I've been scheduled to serve. And I have no doubt that was where I desperately needed to dive into as an act of obedience. I have recently been humbled and elated to be considered to lead worship at the next CR event. (To answer a question: of course I'm nervous to do that!!) At first I thought Joel sent that inquiry to me by mistake to find out if I'd be interested in that role. It was no mistake. It was definitely a God thing! (The highlight of my birthday was to receive a text that proved I was potentially usable past my insecurities.) Furthermore, the nurturing one receives through the various areas and acquaintances/friends made at this church is so uplifting. Everything is team work, everyone works for the same goal - which is to tell people who Jesus is.
I am super dooper (duper?) excited for Jeff and his involvement with the SHIFT ministry. He absolutely loves hanging out with those wrench monkeys and has also been considered to help out in a leadership position with a new something they're brewing up. He likes to help and learn and apparently bring his co-workers! Obviously, Jeff has his insecurities just like I do. Again, those battles aren't best fought alone. But he's an over comer.
There will always be areas of improvement. You just can't live a healthy life for your own glory and expect it to be flawless. Insecurity will always find you...and it masquerades in many forms. Some more prevalent than others. But God is constant, and strong, and definitely NOT insecure. Hello? Did you (did I?) just catch that? God Almighty is NOT insecure. So if your marker is poised and ready to draw lines all over the place, just realize NOW that your art isn't as pretty as His. And His eraser is bigger...
I do.
I wish I could brush off the fact by saying, "I can't help it."
And then I realize all of those statements begin with "I". Which pretty much solves the problem for why I can't help it. Sometimes it's a battle that isn't for me to fight alone. In Exodus 14:14, it says, "The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still." Which spoken by itself sounds great with no strings attached. A "let go and let God" kind of situation. Full of power and reassurance - which it has. But the real truth to its substance is found in the following verse when God basically tells Moses to get everyone moving. In short, Moses must also be active (do his part) in the circumstances surrounding them.
I think that part of the story lends clarity when dealing with life's struggles. Making excuses never got anyone from point A to point B. Waiting for someone else to do something about anything may not produce the results one desires. And if we keep claiming that the Lord will equip the called, then by golly get a move on and stop being so passive...or complacent...or down right lazy.
It's the scariest thing I've ever done.
A few (seemingly) short months ago, Jeff and I stepped out in faith and made the decisive action to get involved; specifically with Fountain Springs. We started with the Discovery classes, joined the church, branched out into LifeGroup territory, and have now found ourselves so far out of our comfort zones we're starting to wonder why we didn't do it sooner. We're even looking into Zambia missions trips!! And this is not a "look what we've done!" rant. It's me saying that I believe blessings are to be found just on the other side of that proverbial line you've drawn for yourself. Personally, mine tended to conform to the borders of what was simultaneously interesting and scary. Definitely not the straightest of lines.
Like the ocean's coast line...
To give you a clearer picture, it was as if Jesus was standing there on the shores with me. Talking about how good everything looked (you know how conversations at the beach start: "it's so beautiful", etc, etc). To which, of course, I would agree with the allure of it all. And the conversation would naturally gravitate to let's have a seat and build a sand castle in the wetter (closer to the water) sand. Well, alright ... You see where this is going, next thing He'll want me to do is to try walking on water. (Lord, help me.)
Anyway, life's events often bring me to that point where God isn't being suggestive anymore and instead he's become rather blunt with what He'd like for me to do. So I crossed the line...
BAM! Awesomeness...awesome people...awesome worship...awesome opportunities......
Okay, maybe it's not an instantaneous feeling. But overcoming insecurities with His help is equally nerve wracking and rewarding! As some of you may know by now, I've truly loved singing with the worship band at FSCC when I've been scheduled to serve. And I have no doubt that was where I desperately needed to dive into as an act of obedience. I have recently been humbled and elated to be considered to lead worship at the next CR event. (To answer a question: of course I'm nervous to do that!!) At first I thought Joel sent that inquiry to me by mistake to find out if I'd be interested in that role. It was no mistake. It was definitely a God thing! (The highlight of my birthday was to receive a text that proved I was potentially usable past my insecurities.) Furthermore, the nurturing one receives through the various areas and acquaintances/friends made at this church is so uplifting. Everything is team work, everyone works for the same goal - which is to tell people who Jesus is.
I am super dooper (duper?) excited for Jeff and his involvement with the SHIFT ministry. He absolutely loves hanging out with those wrench monkeys and has also been considered to help out in a leadership position with a new something they're brewing up. He likes to help and learn and apparently bring his co-workers! Obviously, Jeff has his insecurities just like I do. Again, those battles aren't best fought alone. But he's an over comer.
There will always be areas of improvement. You just can't live a healthy life for your own glory and expect it to be flawless. Insecurity will always find you...and it masquerades in many forms. Some more prevalent than others. But God is constant, and strong, and definitely NOT insecure. Hello? Did you (did I?) just catch that? God Almighty is NOT insecure. So if your marker is poised and ready to draw lines all over the place, just realize NOW that your art isn't as pretty as His. And His eraser is bigger...
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