It's only temporary.
I wonder if it's really possible for one to accurately guess where they will be in 10 years from now. And should they be correct, it's still only a guess...Should a hint from the One who knows better than be seen as a clue? Even so, I wouldn't know. Like most, I often live too far into the future instead of one day at a time and thus often miss what He's showing me in the present. But I am learning-granted it's at a slow rate-to live by those words in the book of Matthew.
"Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
Matthew 6:31-34
It's no surprise to many that I have a lot on my mind. Most days it's all manageable. But like all humans, other days are a little more...challenging. For me, I'm simply experiencing another "firsts" of life which coincidentally many people world wide can identify with. Everyone handles deployment life in their own way. I'm really not sure it can be defined by doing "good" or "bad" because there are too many inbetweens. And anxiety is certainly one of those emotions that comes with the territory. For me, deployment life=major boredom! Seriously. To the point of frustration even. And it's annoying because normally I'm very content to just do my own thing by myself but after a few consecutive days of no other human interaction due to circumstance (be it a long weekend away from work, weather related or differing schedules) one feels rather irritated! (And I'll admit even a little rejected.) And therefore, everything that isn't a big deal becomes one. Like, suddenly it seems as though everyone else in the world can find something to be involved in besides me. I realize that logically this isn't the case and it's only my skewed perception of everyone else's daily life...but nevertheless, I find myself in a rut. Sure I've come up with ideas to "keep busy". But what happens when those prove unappealing or unfulfilling?
You can understand where the need to take it one day at a time is important...Anyway, I find it a little ironic that during this same time last year my husband was away. Of course, back then I was in the home stretch...right now I'm in the beginning stages. So, while deployment life is only temporary, it's still life. And I HAVE to continue trusting my Savior with it-because for now the two that he has made one are once again separated by both the lifestyle we have chosen and the time we must wait until that lifestyle is back under one roof.
I'm understanding the importance of using the quiet to hear what The Lord has to tell me. There is much to discuss. But most importantly He's reminding me that regardless of all the thoughts and feelings that fight to steal my peace, there is more to live for. When all else fails I realize it's because I have stopped finding contentment in The Lord. I don't think trying to find comfort in other things is necessarily bad or wrong-everyone can appreciate time spent being with people, or working on a project, reading a book, taking road trips, or whatever. But when all those events reach their end and you're still left feeling discontent, that's when God has become a last resort instead of a resource. Does He blame me for feeling rather stir crazy lately? I doubt it. However, that doesn't give me the excuse to simply wait for anything or anyone else to make me feel otherwise when He is (metaphorically) sitting on the bench waiting to play with His child. And how fitting that I am a child of God...I've been acting rather childish lately with all these emotions coursing through me lol.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. "
Philipians 4: 6
"Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
Matthew 6:31-34
It's no surprise to many that I have a lot on my mind. Most days it's all manageable. But like all humans, other days are a little more...challenging. For me, I'm simply experiencing another "firsts" of life which coincidentally many people world wide can identify with. Everyone handles deployment life in their own way. I'm really not sure it can be defined by doing "good" or "bad" because there are too many inbetweens. And anxiety is certainly one of those emotions that comes with the territory. For me, deployment life=major boredom! Seriously. To the point of frustration even. And it's annoying because normally I'm very content to just do my own thing by myself but after a few consecutive days of no other human interaction due to circumstance (be it a long weekend away from work, weather related or differing schedules) one feels rather irritated! (And I'll admit even a little rejected.) And therefore, everything that isn't a big deal becomes one. Like, suddenly it seems as though everyone else in the world can find something to be involved in besides me. I realize that logically this isn't the case and it's only my skewed perception of everyone else's daily life...but nevertheless, I find myself in a rut. Sure I've come up with ideas to "keep busy". But what happens when those prove unappealing or unfulfilling?
You can understand where the need to take it one day at a time is important...Anyway, I find it a little ironic that during this same time last year my husband was away. Of course, back then I was in the home stretch...right now I'm in the beginning stages. So, while deployment life is only temporary, it's still life. And I HAVE to continue trusting my Savior with it-because for now the two that he has made one are once again separated by both the lifestyle we have chosen and the time we must wait until that lifestyle is back under one roof.
I'm understanding the importance of using the quiet to hear what The Lord has to tell me. There is much to discuss. But most importantly He's reminding me that regardless of all the thoughts and feelings that fight to steal my peace, there is more to live for. When all else fails I realize it's because I have stopped finding contentment in The Lord. I don't think trying to find comfort in other things is necessarily bad or wrong-everyone can appreciate time spent being with people, or working on a project, reading a book, taking road trips, or whatever. But when all those events reach their end and you're still left feeling discontent, that's when God has become a last resort instead of a resource. Does He blame me for feeling rather stir crazy lately? I doubt it. However, that doesn't give me the excuse to simply wait for anything or anyone else to make me feel otherwise when He is (metaphorically) sitting on the bench waiting to play with His child. And how fitting that I am a child of God...I've been acting rather childish lately with all these emotions coursing through me lol.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. "
Philipians 4: 6
Comments
Post a Comment