For Auld Lang Syne My Dear

Here I sit, on the brink of a new year wondering how quickly I got here...naturally reflecting on times long past. Yesterday I was eating Popsicles in Florida's summer heat on the curb of road with my neighbors across the street...no, wait-yesterday was Christmas morning when I was gifted my very own mountain bike!...ugh, hold on-yesterday I graduated college?...or was it the day Jeff and I crossed the threshold into our very own house?...
It's amazing how the mind can take you from your earliest childhood memory through to the present in nearly an instant. Presently I feel that even the minutes currently passing are about as tangible as the stars in the sky. Fleeting and unyielding they all add up too quickly. But I suppose the sum of it all makes for the comforting atmosphere surrounding the discovery of a long lost memory. To stumble upon those from time to time is something that makes me happy.

As for the times not so long past, I hold tight to lessons they've provided and the fresh memories they've created. Some good, some bad-such is the way of life. At the end of the day it's all okay because there is a Constant in it all and He is what makes my world go round when things seem to spin it out of control-whether I chose to acknowledge Him or not-my Creator is there. So I think, if He can create it He must be in control of it...and when am I going to stop fighting that?? Perhaps in 2013 I will learn to willingly adjust to that knowledge of who is, in fact, in control.

 I think about a previous blog of mine: "Dear 2012"...writing as if I had some say in the direction it would take and how quickly it would change or pass me by. I wonder if God thought to himself, "if only she knew what was in store...". On one hand I think I'd be running toward the future. On the other I know I'd probably be even more hesitant. For now, I'm attempting to live in the present moment no matter how far ahead my thoughts drift. And boy can I get ahead of myself when I think too much. For this new year, only a few short hours away now, I pray for inner peace and optimism to take over me. I pray for supernatural patience to consume me when I need it most and automatic forgiveness for when it's hardest to give. These are not prayers of resolution, but rather necessities of life which I continue to improve on and make the effort to apply in my life...happy new year!

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