Decisions, decisions,,,
I am so tired and stressed. Excuse me for being blunt but this is true. I have WAY too much time to think lately. About everything! And it's starting to take it's toll. Most of what stresses me out is probably trivial at best. But I just can't get a grip lately.
Mom visited this past weekend and it was truly a pleasure to spend time with her getting to see the South Dakota sights, and it honestly was nice to have my mind occupied with other more fun things. Unfortunately, it can't last forever. And that's okay because life isn't a vacation (no matter how much we want it to be). But when I say it's back to the mundane for now, that's really how it seems.
While talking with my mom and Jeff, I've expressed (probably to often) how hopelessly lost I feel when it comes to figuring out my career path. Or even just making a decision on where to point my interests. And to be even more brutally honest, I've all but given up on what God wants me to do. Whether it's present or future. I don't seem to be receiving any feedback on the situation. I'm capable of being the supportive Air Force spouse, I could spend a lot of time doing those odd-ball things in the time that a daily job usually occupies, but I'm not content. I know I'm capable of more than being a frivolous house wife looking for ways to kill time. I've said it before: I feel SO stagnant. Most times I flat out feel useless lately. Now, let me clarify for some of you who might go off on the wrong idea thinking: "I told her military life wasn't going to be easy...", or something of the sort. That's NOT what I'm referring to. I'm talking about the fact that I really don't know what to do to personally feel accomplished (reaching my goals/finding an ultimate career path) AND succeed with what God has in store. Yes, yes He has "something" in store for all of us. As for me, things must be getting dusty sitting in storage because I'm simply at a loss.
My husband has so graciously put up with my frustrated rants and irritability. And I've realized I do a whole lot of talking in effort to try and fix my problem in one night's conversation. It's going to take more patience than I originally allotted for the job hunt. Going back to school is definitely an interest of mine and I'm genuinely up for it- again, if only I knew what to pursue...And so I decided to really listen for something in our conversations. Jeff is more than supportive about me returning to school ever since I expressed interest in radiology a year or so ago. I usually respond with, "I hate the idea of spending all that money to go to school and then totally hating that field." To which he responds with, "there's only one way to find out."
Jeff has stated in one of our conversations, "maybe you're hitting a wall with the whole job thing because you are supposed to be studying radiology." Ironically, mom made a statement very similar on the issue. And it's ALL very ironic because this isn't something that's recently come up because I had to leave my job in Florida when we came to South Dakota. My intentions never were to work my way up the retail latter (although I knew I could have). I didn't care much for that type of job. Really, this problem of mine effortlessly travels with me. And while I'm most likely not being quiet enough to hear what The Lord is instructing me to do about it, I am hearing what HE's saying through Jeff (and others).
And I'm starting to think they're right...
I'm starting to think HE is right...
But of course, HE is.
Mom visited this past weekend and it was truly a pleasure to spend time with her getting to see the South Dakota sights, and it honestly was nice to have my mind occupied with other more fun things. Unfortunately, it can't last forever. And that's okay because life isn't a vacation (no matter how much we want it to be). But when I say it's back to the mundane for now, that's really how it seems.
While talking with my mom and Jeff, I've expressed (probably to often) how hopelessly lost I feel when it comes to figuring out my career path. Or even just making a decision on where to point my interests. And to be even more brutally honest, I've all but given up on what God wants me to do. Whether it's present or future. I don't seem to be receiving any feedback on the situation. I'm capable of being the supportive Air Force spouse, I could spend a lot of time doing those odd-ball things in the time that a daily job usually occupies, but I'm not content. I know I'm capable of more than being a frivolous house wife looking for ways to kill time. I've said it before: I feel SO stagnant. Most times I flat out feel useless lately. Now, let me clarify for some of you who might go off on the wrong idea thinking: "I told her military life wasn't going to be easy...", or something of the sort. That's NOT what I'm referring to. I'm talking about the fact that I really don't know what to do to personally feel accomplished (reaching my goals/finding an ultimate career path) AND succeed with what God has in store. Yes, yes He has "something" in store for all of us. As for me, things must be getting dusty sitting in storage because I'm simply at a loss.
My husband has so graciously put up with my frustrated rants and irritability. And I've realized I do a whole lot of talking in effort to try and fix my problem in one night's conversation. It's going to take more patience than I originally allotted for the job hunt. Going back to school is definitely an interest of mine and I'm genuinely up for it- again, if only I knew what to pursue...And so I decided to really listen for something in our conversations. Jeff is more than supportive about me returning to school ever since I expressed interest in radiology a year or so ago. I usually respond with, "I hate the idea of spending all that money to go to school and then totally hating that field." To which he responds with, "there's only one way to find out."
Jeff has stated in one of our conversations, "maybe you're hitting a wall with the whole job thing because you are supposed to be studying radiology." Ironically, mom made a statement very similar on the issue. And it's ALL very ironic because this isn't something that's recently come up because I had to leave my job in Florida when we came to South Dakota. My intentions never were to work my way up the retail latter (although I knew I could have). I didn't care much for that type of job. Really, this problem of mine effortlessly travels with me. And while I'm most likely not being quiet enough to hear what The Lord is instructing me to do about it, I am hearing what HE's saying through Jeff (and others).
And I'm starting to think they're right...
I'm starting to think HE is right...
But of course, HE is.
I've seen you struggle with this off and on. I naturally want to tell you something that might help in a tangible way and so I think about things that you are obviously good at thinking that might be of interest to you. I think I mentioned once about interior design...because you are so good at it. But, I know you are only interested in that when it comes to your own abode. But seriously, Jeff is right. There is only one way to find out if radiology is a field you would be interested in. Maybe even along those similar lines, an ultrasound tech? That could be interesting. But hear me: whatever you do, you will excel. Because you have that go get 'em attitude that will serve you well anywhere. I love you. And you and Jeff are constantly in our prayers.
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